On the Edge of the Road

There was a long time there that I commuted many miles, in my little car with the plaid top. It was a crazy split life, but that's a different story. The part that's applicable here is that many times somewhere in the middle of my 2 hour drive, I would just get really tired - wake up and discover you are coming up on a turn and still find it difficult to keep the eyes open kind of tired. So, I would pull over to the side of the road and take a 15 minute power nap. Refreshed by that short interlude, the rest of the trip would be uneventful, and usually even enjoyable.

Life in general has been like that lately. In these days of electronic devices and the extremist work ethic, I find that I just get tired sometimes. When I suddenly wake up and discover that I am headed for a turn, it is obviously time for me to pull over to the edge of the road, no matter how important I think it is to "get 'er done." I know it is time for a power recharge: some surrender, meditation, and seeking guidance. I might even smell a rose or two.

Asking for Inspiration

Today was another of those days that when I considered what I thought I should do, I quickly became  overwhelmed with all of the shoulda, coulda, woulda's. It was more than I could accomplish, so I fell in to the checking of my email instead. Then I did some basic reading.

Once again I am reminded to ask guidance for inspiration. The answers will come. I feel that peace, once more. In this peaceful place I can accomplish all that is mine to accomplish AND experience serenity while I'm at it.

Grateful, I am, once more, for simple truth and guidance.

Being Forgiveness

A good friend came to me today, confused. She wanted to know what I thought about this reading she was studying. The excerpt she read to me said that step 9 was all about asking for forgiveness. I told her that was not my understanding. It seems to me that is it totally about making amends for my wrongdoings. I don't find anything in there about asking the person that I wronged to do something for me.

Upon further reflection, it occurs to me that if it is forgiveness that I seek, I must be forgiveness myself. When I look upon the world with eyes softened by my own attitude of forgiveness, then I experience the ever present tides of my higher powers unconditional love (forgiveness) washing upon my shores.

Layers

I've so often heard the layers of an onion analogy that it is a basic part of my understanding of life (And there are many layers to the meaning of that sentence). I believe that life experiences and the understanding of them or the ability to deal with them do come in layers as we can deal with them, comprehend, and understand them.

Still, at any given time, my brain wants to believe that I have come to the nut of it. I desire to be complete and whole, wise and right. I dig and dig, thinking, "Ah, I finally have the seed!" Wishful thinking - fantasy thinking.

So, I was contemplating this seemingly conflictive conundrum this morning, seeking understanding. In some place or another I heard the saying, "Understanding is the booby prize." I don't know about that, but I do know that I feel satisfied in this moment with the epiphany that blessed my consciousness. 

I saw this image of the onion, and peeling off the layers, until reaching the center. There, in the center was eternity and infinity expressed in simply more refined layers upon layers unending. Inside every seed, besides the DNA is animation, life, love, whatever one wishes to call that infinite God seed that causes the action called growth. The flowering of existence.

I might allow my brain to indulge in this kind of investigation from time to time, however, in my day to day life I experience serenity when I simply lean on faith in this moment, follow guidance, and do the work now.