Most all of my life, I have considered myself "different." That belief has been reflected back to me by many others. Certainly, most of my life was different than the norm in it's outward appearance. I mean, not a lot of people lived in a cabin on a mountain as a child, with no water or electricity. Few studied by candlelight, or broke the ice on the creek to wash their face. At least, that is not the norm nowadays, except for maybe those unfortunate enough to be experiencing homelessness, and the few hardy souls that have chosen to live off the grid. I haven't watched TV a majority of my life. That alone has given me a whole different slant on life than those who are immersed in the culture of television.
Yet, it is not the differences that matter most to my heart and my experience of my Higher Power. It is working the steps on my flavor of insanity that awakens my awareness of our commonality, of the love of a community dedicated to this spiritual journey, of the similarity we reflect in our humanity. Every time I remember "There but for the Grace of God go I," it seems most apparent that I am far less different than I might consider myself. I may be unique, but so is every other person on this planet. We share that trait. Even in our differences we are the same.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Graced by Clouds
Yesterday, I went to the movies with my husband. When we came out of the theater, near sunset, we were overwhelmed by the beauty of the clouds. We had just been sitting in front of the big screen watching a dynamic and dramatic fantasy that was extremely well done, yet it paled in my minds eye to the sheer intensity and immensity of the breathtaking vision provided by nature outside the confining walls of the theater. The range of colors from palest peach to bright butter yellow, from fluffy white to deepest darkest grey was all tied together in the brilliant blue sky by all shades of pink, lavender, orange and pale grey. Stunning, simply stunning.
I can think of many times in my past that clouds seemed to me the harbinger of misery, reminding me with their wet cargo of my clouded thoughts, clouded vision, cloudy emotions, and the dark cloud of depression. They blocked the light and darkened my path, rained on my parade, and quick-started my tears. It is amazing to me how far I am willing to stretch my view of reality to anthropomorphize my environment so that I can project my own shadow upon it, yet, clouds are still quite capable when called upon to maintain a misery-inducing countenance.
Today, however, clouds appear to be a different thing entirely in my view. In that moment yesterday, when we stepped out of the theater, the clouds graced us with nature's bountiful beauty. My chest opened up, expanded by glory, and I was overtaken by gratitude. The unsuppressed exuberance of the lumbering walls of intrepid moisture bolstered every bold bone in my body, filling my being with bravery previously unknown to my heart. I was favored in that moment and blessed with a knowingness that I am a part of all this. Every day, every moment, I have the opportunity to discover the blessings, to awaken to the glory of it all, to allow grace into my heart.
I can think of many times in my past that clouds seemed to me the harbinger of misery, reminding me with their wet cargo of my clouded thoughts, clouded vision, cloudy emotions, and the dark cloud of depression. They blocked the light and darkened my path, rained on my parade, and quick-started my tears. It is amazing to me how far I am willing to stretch my view of reality to anthropomorphize my environment so that I can project my own shadow upon it, yet, clouds are still quite capable when called upon to maintain a misery-inducing countenance.
Today, however, clouds appear to be a different thing entirely in my view. In that moment yesterday, when we stepped out of the theater, the clouds graced us with nature's bountiful beauty. My chest opened up, expanded by glory, and I was overtaken by gratitude. The unsuppressed exuberance of the lumbering walls of intrepid moisture bolstered every bold bone in my body, filling my being with bravery previously unknown to my heart. I was favored in that moment and blessed with a knowingness that I am a part of all this. Every day, every moment, I have the opportunity to discover the blessings, to awaken to the glory of it all, to allow grace into my heart.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Serenity's Song
It seems to me that life, and even all of creation, is a song; a huge, multi-layered symphony. When I am in harmony with that song, and part of the chorus, all is well with me. It flows. Life flows. And I am filled with serenity. And peace. And joy. And all that good stuff, all of those good feelings that we feel when in grace.
Too often, in my past, I have been out of harmony, a part of the cacophony of self-will run riot. I have blundered around trying to figure it all out for myself, instead of relying on my higher power to guide me through the rapids of some "tough times."
There have been a lot of years that I have practiced in the choir, worked at following direction, attempted to allow harmony to overtake my being. Now, I realize that it is not mine to ever be the director, nor would I wish to be. I have also come to understand that I'm not to be the star singer either.
The recognition that I seek is within myself: that I have come to a place of humble service and gratitude, that all of life is worth singing about, that everyday is a gift, and that I continue do my part to the best of my ability. My higher power will do the rest.
The serenity cards are an out-pouring of love for all in recovery, and all those yet to discover recovery. They are an affirmation of my belief in my higher power, and the guidance that brought me to this doorstep.
You are welcome here. I would love to see this blog develop into a forum for sharing of serenity, peace, and all of the other gifts you have received, in recovery and otherwise.
Too often, in my past, I have been out of harmony, a part of the cacophony of self-will run riot. I have blundered around trying to figure it all out for myself, instead of relying on my higher power to guide me through the rapids of some "tough times."
There have been a lot of years that I have practiced in the choir, worked at following direction, attempted to allow harmony to overtake my being. Now, I realize that it is not mine to ever be the director, nor would I wish to be. I have also come to understand that I'm not to be the star singer either.
The recognition that I seek is within myself: that I have come to a place of humble service and gratitude, that all of life is worth singing about, that everyday is a gift, and that I continue do my part to the best of my ability. My higher power will do the rest.
The serenity cards are an out-pouring of love for all in recovery, and all those yet to discover recovery. They are an affirmation of my belief in my higher power, and the guidance that brought me to this doorstep.
You are welcome here. I would love to see this blog develop into a forum for sharing of serenity, peace, and all of the other gifts you have received, in recovery and otherwise.
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