How very much I would like to think that I always get it right, that I'm some kind of together or something. HA.
For many years I used to participate in a traditional sweat lodge. It always worked to get my ego right-sized. Especially with our sweat leader. It never failed. Every time that I thought that I was doing well (I felt so sure - in my brain), he would get out the wing and beat on my forehead, asking that my thoughts be straightened out. I didn't have to say a word. He just recognized it.
One thing that I got from that was that it could be obvious to everyone else but me when I was off-center. Some part of me at least was apparently transparent. The more important thing that I deduced from that is that most of the time my ego/brain can go a-kilter when I least suspect it.
Since my sweat leader and his wing are not around anymore, and I haven't found anyone else with his uncanny abilities, the only way that I know to tell whats off-base with me is to honestly take stock of how in integrity my thoughts are with my actions, and my beliefs. It's never comfortable. It always feels better after.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
New Ideas and Old Concepts
I am constantly budding new ideas. They just sprout constantly. Some of them are hare-brained constructs of my naturally off-kilter mind, but most are the result of surrender, and therefore gifts from my Higher Power.
I am always excited by a new idea - foodstuff for the soul, yet there is no possible physical way that I could act on all of them. So, how do I determine which I should support with my focus and actions? That's where the "Old Concepts" come in: leaning on the 12 steps. To me, surrender is the cornerstone of the steps, as well as achieving grace in any situation. The steps are the foundation upon which I attempt to build any of my constructs. If any of my new ideas will not be held up by that foundation, then I know that it is most likely one of my crazy contraptions, and though "purdy," I can let it go.
The Serenity-Cards are completely a "God thing." It is not what I thought I would be doing, yet here they are, and fully self-supporting.
One thing that all of the ideas that seem to be supported have in common is that they are of service somehow. Serenity-Cards were borne out of the wish to be of service. I hope that you find that they are of service to you.
I am always excited by a new idea - foodstuff for the soul, yet there is no possible physical way that I could act on all of them. So, how do I determine which I should support with my focus and actions? That's where the "Old Concepts" come in: leaning on the 12 steps. To me, surrender is the cornerstone of the steps, as well as achieving grace in any situation. The steps are the foundation upon which I attempt to build any of my constructs. If any of my new ideas will not be held up by that foundation, then I know that it is most likely one of my crazy contraptions, and though "purdy," I can let it go.
The Serenity-Cards are completely a "God thing." It is not what I thought I would be doing, yet here they are, and fully self-supporting.
One thing that all of the ideas that seem to be supported have in common is that they are of service somehow. Serenity-Cards were borne out of the wish to be of service. I hope that you find that they are of service to you.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
There but for the grace...
I was reminded yesterday of the grace I have experienced this life. I've been in the mud up past my armpits several times, yet I did not go under. And it was not me that kept me from going under. Grace gave me a solid rock to stand on in that slippery scarey place. And it was grace that nudged me to make the decision to stay on the up and up rather than slide into old behavior. On my own, I am not always so wise. My brain can go a bit crazy over the simplest of things.
So, yesterday, in the midst of counting blessings that have been coming my way lately, I was reminded, and I felt gratitude once more still. And, later in the day, when I got a call from someone who was in a place that I used to be, I repeated "There but for the grace of God..." one more time. I sure appreciate newcomers.
So, yesterday, in the midst of counting blessings that have been coming my way lately, I was reminded, and I felt gratitude once more still. And, later in the day, when I got a call from someone who was in a place that I used to be, I repeated "There but for the grace of God..." one more time. I sure appreciate newcomers.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Gratitude Keeps Me Going
When I'm really down in the dumps, all I have to remember is to be grateful to get back out.
Last week my car was stolen while I was at work. I worked from noon until 4pm - so it was during broad daylight and right off of a busy main street. I was shocked. My car is 21 years old and has over 324,700 miles on it. It did not even occur to me for at least a minute that someone took it. I mean, why would anyone take my funky car? They don't know that it still gets 38 mpg.
Anyway, once it sunk in that that was the only logical conclusion, I started praying. AND, I started with my gratitudes. I was at first grateful that I had been given the car last year and had had all this use of it. I was grateful that my husband was on staycation for the week, so he could pick me up readily. And I silently gave thanks that I was able to find a friendly police person to report the theft to.
Long story short, in the end I stayed in gratitude for the whole experience, even when they found the car and I had to pay $220 to retrieve it from the tow yard a few blocks from my job. And I prayed for guidance.
That is where the big gratitude comes in, with another story. Many years ago I took an important trip in another funky vehicle. It got me there and back again despite all odds, fueled on prayer and guidance, and then completely quit working as I drove into my driveway. As I was walking the 3 mile hike to the bus to get to work the next morning, I prayed and expressed my deep gratitude for the safe travels and all of the clear guidance I had experienced. Then I said,
My heart filled to overflowing with gratitude. There was something sticky on the back of it, so without thinking, I pulled it off, crumpled it up and tossed it back in the ditch. Then I turned the thing over. There was a very clear rectangle where something had been there to block the suns rays, so that it was faded differently. I picked up the paper I had tossed, uncrumpled it, and read what it had to say, "Message."
That day was one of those miracle-spiritual pinnacle days in my life. I've kept the Message hung on my wall wherever I have lived all of these years since.
So, back to the car.
When I went and picked up my retrieved stolen car last week, I prayed again with gratitude. It started right up. There were no parts missing from it, nothing missing from inside it either. I kept re-affirming that even having to pay the $220 was some kind of a God thing, and that I would remain grateful for having the money to pay it.
A little ways down the road, I looked in the back seat. Everything had been taken from the floor, and put up on the seat, except one blue thing. There was my Message! laying on the floor of the car! All I can say is, with gratitude, Miracles do happen.
Last week my car was stolen while I was at work. I worked from noon until 4pm - so it was during broad daylight and right off of a busy main street. I was shocked. My car is 21 years old and has over 324,700 miles on it. It did not even occur to me for at least a minute that someone took it. I mean, why would anyone take my funky car? They don't know that it still gets 38 mpg.
Anyway, once it sunk in that that was the only logical conclusion, I started praying. AND, I started with my gratitudes. I was at first grateful that I had been given the car last year and had had all this use of it. I was grateful that my husband was on staycation for the week, so he could pick me up readily. And I silently gave thanks that I was able to find a friendly police person to report the theft to.
Long story short, in the end I stayed in gratitude for the whole experience, even when they found the car and I had to pay $220 to retrieve it from the tow yard a few blocks from my job. And I prayed for guidance.
That is where the big gratitude comes in, with another story. Many years ago I took an important trip in another funky vehicle. It got me there and back again despite all odds, fueled on prayer and guidance, and then completely quit working as I drove into my driveway. As I was walking the 3 mile hike to the bus to get to work the next morning, I prayed and expressed my deep gratitude for the safe travels and all of the clear guidance I had experienced. Then I said,
"You know, it would be really cool, if just once, you would send me really clear guidance sometime, like in the form of a written message. Just so I would really know I wasn't making it up."A few feet further on my trek to the bus, I noticed something bright blue on the side of the road. It caught my eye, so I stopped and picked it up. It was a laminated poster thingy. It said, "Miracles do happen."
My heart filled to overflowing with gratitude. There was something sticky on the back of it, so without thinking, I pulled it off, crumpled it up and tossed it back in the ditch. Then I turned the thing over. There was a very clear rectangle where something had been there to block the suns rays, so that it was faded differently. I picked up the paper I had tossed, uncrumpled it, and read what it had to say, "Message."
That day was one of those miracle-spiritual pinnacle days in my life. I've kept the Message hung on my wall wherever I have lived all of these years since.
So, back to the car.
When I went and picked up my retrieved stolen car last week, I prayed again with gratitude. It started right up. There were no parts missing from it, nothing missing from inside it either. I kept re-affirming that even having to pay the $220 was some kind of a God thing, and that I would remain grateful for having the money to pay it.
A little ways down the road, I looked in the back seat. Everything had been taken from the floor, and put up on the seat, except one blue thing. There was my Message! laying on the floor of the car! All I can say is, with gratitude, Miracles do happen.
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