Active Prayer

Somewhere in the last few weeks I read the concept that prayer is not really prayer until we take action, until we move in the direction, fully in the surrender and faith. It reminds me of the suggestion that we "act as if" until it is so.

I've always thought that prayer was a one-sided conversation, and that meditation was a practice of listening, yet somehow, by the definition of prayer that I just mentioned, it becomes more dynamic, more alive, and more effective.

Either way, I know that I have been struggling to keep up on all the daily disciplines which I have intended to cultivate. In the past I have started out slow, adding different items rather quickly, until I reach overload. Then I would quit it all entirely. In the last couple years, I've really worked on simplifying, and only paying attention to one thing at a time until it is well established. Adding new habits has been very slow.

I am here recognizing consciously that this blog has languished because of this practice. I intend to turn that around, a very little at a time. In past I struggled with what to say. I'm certainly not any kind of expert in recovery (is anyone?), and I didn't wish to identify any of my 12 step work for purposes of anonymity.

I had a dream the other night, however, and was reminded that all twelve step programs that I am aware, as well as most spiritual practices include gratitude. So, I've decided that if nothing else arises here, I can certainly share my gratitude, as it is one of my daily habits to review what I am grateful for right then. This practice has lifted me up out of the darkest cloud days, out of resentment, out of various kinds of self-inflicted miseries. It is the most active prayer practice that I can think of, as well as one of the most effective.

Today, I am grateful for beginning this blog again. I'm grateful for the reminder from my mentor, and my own willingness to begin again, over and over. I'm also grateful to know that I don't have to have all of the answers right now, or do everything right now. Each moment I have the opportunity to begin again.