Layers

I've so often heard the layers of an onion analogy that it is a basic part of my understanding of life (And there are many layers to the meaning of that sentence). I believe that life experiences and the understanding of them or the ability to deal with them do come in layers as we can deal with them, comprehend, and understand them.

Still, at any given time, my brain wants to believe that I have come to the nut of it. I desire to be complete and whole, wise and right. I dig and dig, thinking, "Ah, I finally have the seed!" Wishful thinking - fantasy thinking.

So, I was contemplating this seemingly conflictive conundrum this morning, seeking understanding. In some place or another I heard the saying, "Understanding is the booby prize." I don't know about that, but I do know that I feel satisfied in this moment with the epiphany that blessed my consciousness. 

I saw this image of the onion, and peeling off the layers, until reaching the center. There, in the center was eternity and infinity expressed in simply more refined layers upon layers unending. Inside every seed, besides the DNA is animation, life, love, whatever one wishes to call that infinite God seed that causes the action called growth. The flowering of existence.

I might allow my brain to indulge in this kind of investigation from time to time, however, in my day to day life I experience serenity when I simply lean on faith in this moment, follow guidance, and do the work now.

One Piece at a Time

I'm thinking all of things that I've taken on lately are too much. I'm feeling like I could be overwhelmed, drowned in all of the busy-ness that I have laid out for myself.

Time to remember I don't have to complete it all now. I don't even have to complete it all tomorrow, or next month. I only have to stay in the right now, and do one piece at a time. I am grateful for that.

Inventory Time

How very much I would like to think that I always get it right, that I'm some kind of together or something. HA.

For many years I used to participate in a traditional sweat lodge. It always worked to get my ego right-sized. Especially with our sweat leader. It never failed. Every time that I thought that I was doing well (I felt so sure - in my brain), he would get out the wing and beat on my forehead, asking that my thoughts be straightened out. I didn't have to say a word. He just recognized it.

One thing that I got from that was that it could be obvious to everyone else but me when I was off-center. Some part of me at least was apparently transparent. The more important thing that I deduced from that is that most of the time my ego/brain can go a-kilter when I least suspect it.

Since my sweat leader and his wing are not around anymore, and I haven't found anyone else with his uncanny abilities, the only way that I know to tell whats off-base with me is to honestly take stock of how in integrity my thoughts are with my actions, and my beliefs.  It's never comfortable. It always feels better after.

New Ideas and Old Concepts

I am constantly budding new  ideas. They just sprout constantly. Some of them are hare-brained constructs of my naturally off-kilter mind, but most are the result of surrender, and therefore gifts from my Higher Power.
I am always excited by a new idea - foodstuff for the soul, yet there is no possible physical way that I could act on all of them. So, how do I determine which I should support with my focus and actions? That's where the "Old Concepts" come in: leaning on the 12 steps. To me, surrender is the cornerstone of the steps, as well as achieving grace in any situation. The steps are the foundation upon which I attempt to build any of my constructs. If any of my new ideas will not be held up by that foundation, then I know that it is most likely one of my crazy contraptions, and though "purdy," I can let it go.
The Serenity-Cards are completely a "God thing." It is not what I thought I would be doing, yet here they are, and fully self-supporting.
One thing that all of the ideas that seem to be supported have in common is that they are of service somehow. Serenity-Cards were borne out of the wish to be of service. I hope that you find that they are of service to you.