On the Edge of the Road

There was a long time there that I commuted many miles, in my little car with the plaid top. It was a crazy split life, but that's a different story. The part that's applicable here is that many times somewhere in the middle of my 2 hour drive, I would just get really tired - wake up and discover you are coming up on a turn and still find it difficult to keep the eyes open kind of tired. So, I would pull over to the side of the road and take a 15 minute power nap. Refreshed by that short interlude, the rest of the trip would be uneventful, and usually even enjoyable.

Life in general has been like that lately. In these days of electronic devices and the extremist work ethic, I find that I just get tired sometimes. When I suddenly wake up and discover that I am headed for a turn, it is obviously time for me to pull over to the edge of the road, no matter how important I think it is to "get 'er done." I know it is time for a power recharge: some surrender, meditation, and seeking guidance. I might even smell a rose or two.

Being Forgiveness

A good friend came to me today, confused. She wanted to know what I thought about this reading she was studying. The excerpt she read to me said that step 9 was all about asking for forgiveness. I told her that was not my understanding. It seems to me that is it totally about making amends for my wrongdoings. I don't find anything in there about asking the person that I wronged to do something for me.

Upon further reflection, it occurs to me that if it is forgiveness that I seek, I must be forgiveness myself. When I look upon the world with eyes softened by my own attitude of forgiveness, then I experience the ever present tides of my higher powers unconditional love (forgiveness) washing upon my shores.

New Ideas and Old Concepts

I am constantly budding new  ideas. They just sprout constantly. Some of them are hare-brained constructs of my naturally off-kilter mind, but most are the result of surrender, and therefore gifts from my Higher Power.
I am always excited by a new idea - foodstuff for the soul, yet there is no possible physical way that I could act on all of them. So, how do I determine which I should support with my focus and actions? That's where the "Old Concepts" come in: leaning on the 12 steps. To me, surrender is the cornerstone of the steps, as well as achieving grace in any situation. The steps are the foundation upon which I attempt to build any of my constructs. If any of my new ideas will not be held up by that foundation, then I know that it is most likely one of my crazy contraptions, and though "purdy," I can let it go.
The Serenity-Cards are completely a "God thing." It is not what I thought I would be doing, yet here they are, and fully self-supporting.
One thing that all of the ideas that seem to be supported have in common is that they are of service somehow. Serenity-Cards were borne out of the wish to be of service. I hope that you find that they are of service to you.

Surrender

I surrender. Then, a bit later, I surrender again. And, a few moments later, once more. Some days it's like that for me. More often than not.

And every time that I surrender, I have a moment of release, and peace, and serenity, even. Maybe, it's the habit of slipping into gratitude at the drop of a hat, and probably it is more likely the moment by moment surrender that fosters the underlying joy in my heart every day, under everything, even the tough stuff.

I don't throw up any white flags. It is nothing about defeat in battle. Rather, it is knowing my better with every fiber of my being. I can let go of my false pride and simply let go of my false sense of control over those things that I really have no control over at all.

It is a gift from higher power. And I am ever grateful, whatever causes it.